Saying Adios to a Dream.

I recently read a text that asked a rather thought provoking question. It started off by stating that when we are young we live as if we are immortal and that there comes a point in life when one realizes that there is a time limit. It went on to ask “…at what point or after what experience does one become aware of this mortality? “

I think that for some people this truth dawns when they witness a tragedy like an earthquake, a Tsunami or a terrorist attack. Witnessing death on a large scale can indeed make one evaluate one’s life taking the ticking clock into account. The death of a close friend/family member can have the same effect. I myself am not immune to such triggers however; I also start thinking along the same lines after making a life altering decision.

Almost everyone who has had the opportunity to get to know me within the past five years is sure to think of me as someone who is undecided about the future. They will tell you that I know not what I want out of my own life. Although this line of thought is flawed, in the absence of my defense it becomes the only plausible assumption. Contrary to popular belief I actually know exactly what I would like my life to be. I know every little detail of this life and thanks to many years of day dreaming it actually seems rather real. This life however is not within the realms of what is possible. I am too much of a realist to pursue what is clearly not meant to be and yet too naïve to give up on it completely.

These dreams were never really within reach for reasons too complicated to be put down in writing. However, I did have to make the decision between either remaining on course hoping that the circumstances may change or veering off course in search of an alternative. I chose the second option. It was a quick and impulsive decision but that was the only way that I was ever going to tear myself away from my obsession. As feeble an attempt at justifying my actions as this may seem I did find solace in the words of Marcus Aurelius. “…But those who do not observe the impulses of their own minds must of necessity be unhappy”.

Each time that I think these things through I am left with the same conclusions. We all try to live the life that we feel will make us happiest. There are those that reach for the stars, fail and yet remain happy in the knowledge that they tried, and those who settle for the consolation price and yet find happiness in that. As for me, I want to be able to look back on my life without any regrets. However, when that time does eventually come to pass I will be robbed of that pleasure because of a certain dream that I gave up on. No matter how good or how happy a life it ends up being I will always wonder what would have happened had I stayed on course? Would the circumstances have changed? Would fate have given me a chance to play the game? In the days, months and years that will make up my life I am sure to revisit that moment and think…..what if?

Do friendships have a time and end? Does Facebook immortalize friendships?

                The new online social network, Path.com sites a research study that claims that one person can only maintain on average 150 relationships. As a result unlike Facebook where you can have as many friends as you want on Path you are limited to a 50. I did seriously consider switching over but then realized that I don’t know anyone else that is on Path so that would negate the point of being on a social network.

                Facebook will tell you that I have 600+ friends but I think that I only constantly communicate with about a 100, maybe even less. So those 100 make up my network of friends both online and offline. The other 500+ ‘Facebook friends’ are actually acquaintances and the advantage of being connected to them through Facebook is that in case you wish to re-connect with them they are only a wall post away. It also makes me feel good about myself by feeling connected and loved.    

                Just like everything else in life, friendships are also in constant flux. While some relationships develop from acquaintanceships into friendships others go in the opposite direction. Some of my closest and most treasured friendships have turned in to acquaintanceships over time. The findings of the study should not be surprising to anyone and clearly show that most friendships do have a time and end. When life rolls along and we meet new people, our network expands to levels that we as humans cannot keep up with. So it is only natural that the ascendancy of certain friendships leads to the decline of others.

This raises the question whether Facebook can stop this process and in a sense whether it can immortalize friendships. I personally believe that while Facebook and other sites of similar caliber do a wonderful job of connecting people across the world, it does not stop the decline of certain friendships. It can of course help maintain and develop friendships especially long distance ones as the internet in general helps us communicate faster and more efficiently than ever before. Also being able to see pictures and videos of friends in distant places and being able to communicate in a group setting makes the friendship feel more real. The old world order of pen pals could have never done that although the effect of a handwritten letter once in awhile cannot be underestimated. The internet like postal mail is simply a tool that enables us to communicate and keep in touch but whether we value our friendships enough to make full use of these tools is up to us.

                So for the most part the internet, Facebook etc have only changed how we interact and not whether we interact.